Flipping the Narrative : Reframing Creative Loss

ROBIN BRADLEY HANSEL

FEMCITY FOUNDER’S MEMBER + EXPERT

One of my favorite parts of being a FemCity Founder’s Member is the Accountability Weekly Program. Over the past year, I've grown professionally and personally by attending these online gatherings every Monday, which are filled with talented businesswomen worldwide.

Last week, I received news that I’d not been selected for a poetry fellowship that I desperately wanted. Though it was my first time applying for a competition of this caliber, I felt hopeful about my chances. I’d shared the process with my accountability group months ago as a win for having the courage to stretch my poetic wings more publicly.

I learned my submission wasn’t selected minutes before our weekly Founder’s Circle Virtual Networking group gathered. I was too sad to attend. When I sat with my sadness, I recognized it was really shame. I wasn’t ready to admit to my FemCity friends that I’d failed. 

I considered skipping today’s Founder’s Circle Accountability Weekly Program meeting. Thankfully, I didn’t, as I enjoyed celebrating the successes of our other members. I was comforted seeing their smiling faces and hearing them share, though I stayed quiet.

Just before closing, I felt a familiar uncomfortable fluttering in my throat. As an introvert, I’ve learned to recognize this growing sensation as pushing me to speak something I’d prefer not to say. I hate when this happens, but I know if I don’t talk, I’ll feel worse later. 

So, at the last possible minute, I tentatively raised my hand. I quickly named my loss and confessed that the shame of it had stopped me from attending our meeting the week before. I wanted others facing losses to know that it helped me overcome my embarrassment and attend. I also said that I’d written and submitted three new poems that weekend, and I was even more determined to keep writing despite this first fellowship try.

The encouragement I received from our group was incredible! Several said that I’d already turned this loss into a win by sharing my grief and pushing forward. I learned that rather than silently suffering, trusting my loss to this safe community was exactly what I needed.

Robin Bradley Hansel, founder of Green Treehouse Media and Labyrinth Wellness, loves collaborative storytelling and ghostwriting in her clients’ personal voices. A licensed physical therapist with a poet’s sensibility and gift for deep listening, Robin’s writing style is “rooted and grounded in a love of words. Check out her work and connect at www.greentreehousemedia.com and https://linktr.ee/robinbradleyhansel.