HOW TO HANDLE THAT NOT SO FRIENDLY EMAIL // VIOLETTE DE AYALA
BY VIOLETTE DE AYALA
FOUNDER OF FEMCITY
FROM THE FEMCITY WEDNESDAY 6/26 EDITION // SUBSCRIBE FOR WEEKLY TIPS + INSPIRATION
We have all received them. That random angry email that may include a series of CAPS and !!!!. While reading it you think to yourself, why the anger?
Perhaps it is beyond the email format in which you have experienced this growing trend. There seems to be quite a bit of hostile comments and bullying that occur on social media as well. What's up with all of that?
We all try to do our best in all we touch and create. We give our loving souls to the details and find so much joy in serving others through our business. When we get that email that is so out of alignment from our happy groove, it throws us off and we wonder, how do I respond to this thread of not so nice words?
Here are tips on how to handle the "not so friendly" communication:
1. Take the emotion out: Name calling, threats, and derogatory terms are not about you, it's about the person that composed them. When people take the time to share words that are not uplifting, filled of anger and not so nice phrase combo's, it's generally the state of their life, not yours. Don't absorb those words as they are coming from a place that is not from love. Ignore the rant vibe and don't let your spirit absorb that energy.
2. Read to catch the one part that shows what the communication is really about [it's usually a miscommunication]: There is generally one item they do want to share and it's hidden amongst the anger. Try and locate this piece of issue so that you can use that as your point to respond. Is it a return policy, shipping delay, or some disconnect on expectations? Generally this is where the truth is navigated and the point to address stands. This will be the point that needs to be focused on when thinking of solutions.
3. Respond with love and with facts: It's difficult to not take the insults and bad words to heart. We are all human and we all want to be loved. It's always best to respond with as much authentic gratitude with factual information as possible.
When you form your response, use this suggested format;
Paragraph 1: gratitude for the connection and business.
Paragraph 2: a concise recap of the issue being discussed as best as you understand with the information you have received.
Paragraph 3: a solution or options to find a solution to make things better.
When you use this format, it tends to take the pressure off of the feelings and moves it into a structured strategy with heart.
While reading this, if you recognize that you may be the one that has sent or posted some not so friendly words, you may think this is the only way to get your way. But, you can address issues with a positive and uplifting way that embraces others and doesn't add ugliness in the world while finding resolution.
Use this format when you are seeking assistance with an issue: thank them for the aspects you are grateful for, state the issue with no emotion and based on facts, then propose a solution or a few that will make you happy and you find fair. I like to conclude with more positivity ["thank you for your time in assisting me" etc]. You get more with honey...
The world is filled of humans trying to be the best they can be within the scope of all the additional stresses of thriving in life and business. Kindness feels good and is contagious. It really is!
There is always a human on the other side reading what you have shared. Perhaps they too are doing the best they can with what they have been given. We all have the power to make the world a more friendly and loving place. Each word does carry either love or hate. Choose the path that leads to more harmony. It always feels good to add more goodness to those around us.
PS. If your loving response receives more anger, you can walk away from the drama. Sometimes people just want to fight, and that's their story. You have the powerful choice to walk away.
Violette de Ayala
Founder of FemCity®