When I was in my early 20s, I feared for my life, it went on for over a year, it resulted in the perpetrator being charged, going to jail, and not being permitted to come within a certain distance of me, or my family for 10 years. The story of that trauma is for another time, what I want to share today is a beauty that came out of those ashes.   

While I was going through this scary and clearly negative time in my life, I was young without naturally having much in the way of coping skills for fear. Things seemed so unfair, and they were unfair. I wasn’t the only victim. I was just the first to come forward.

In the height of it, I struggled to see the good things in life separate from the trauma I was in. I stumbled upon a book suggestion from Oprah Winfrey, it was called Simple Abundance. Remember the power of Oprah back in the 90’s? The book had a short reading each day, and then a journal type of space to write down five things I was grateful for that day.  My mind was in such a negative space that it was hard to imagine five things that were good in a day, the good was overridden by thoughts of bad. I started the practice with the book because I understood the power of growing as a person. When I first looked at writing five things, I stared at the page, my brain kept thinking "life sucks, people don’t understand what I’m going through, nothing good is happening." I wrote something facetious like, I’m grateful that I’m alive, and I’m grateful that I went to work today.

Overtime, moments that I was thankful for started to appear, I started looking for positive things in my day, I started noticing all of the things that were happening each day that were beautiful in my life. I began to appreciate when somebody would hold the door open for me, or when I made a meal that tasted delicious, or when a friend stopped by, or when someone gave me a complement. My mindset shifted and I started seeing my world in a new way, despite the real danger that was in my life. The fear wasn’t gone the person trying to harm me wasn’t gone. My ability to find joy despite the challenge changed my life forever and for that I am grateful. 

My wish for anyone who reads this is to start your own daily gratitude practice, even better, start it at home with whoever lives there with you. Last year I did a month of gratitude shares in a text chat with my daughters and their best friends, it was powerful to see them start to 'get it'. It won't be a waste of time, it will start to shift your brain to searching for the good in the day. 

Lynn Pelzer, COO at FemCity.

About Lynn Pelzer // Lynn has held a chair position on boards, currently part of a DEI board with FemCity, she has been awarded the Rising Star Award and Crystal Executive Award in her previous company. She has been a contributor on podcasts as well as blogs, and has been a speaker in women’s groups on the topics of business. 

You can connect with Lynn on Facebook or Linkedin @lynnpelzer or via email lynn@femcity.com  

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