5 Women On How An Accountability Partner Changed Their Life

How an Accountability Partner Can Change Your Life

In trials of stress and in times of great celebration, having someone along for the ride is always better than going alone. And sometimes, to reach those audacious goals we have for ourselves, an accountability partner can be a gamechanger. As a female entrepreneur, you are likely personally motivated to help your business succeed, but how often do you give yourself a moment of self-care and reflection? Especially when you are being pulled in ten different ways, being mindful of your own wellness and staying focused on the moment is difficult, to say the least. Rather than only viewing an accountability partner as someone who ensures you put your nose to the grind, remember there are a multitude of ways a buddy can step in to help. From staying active and eating healthy to learning how to say ‘no’ and more, get inspired by these five women who share their stories:

“I found a way to prioritize in my health in a dark time.”

During the holiday season of 2018, Veronica Silva’s grandmother fell and broke her hip. As a solopreneur with a graphic design business, Silva was tasked with keeping her projects and clients happy — and stepping up to be there for her family. Alongside her aunts and cousin, she moved in with her grandma to help her heal. Sadly, in March of 2019, she passed away, and Silva tried to manage her grief. “As usual, I ate my feelings,” she shared. In fact, she recalls all-nighters nibbling on chocolate, causing her to stay awake and add on even more pounds. As an unexpected silver lining, her cousin was in the same boat and had decided to hire a nutritionist. Inspired and curious, Silva signed up as well. Together, they tracked meal plans and went running every afternoon for months. 

In addition to understanding her complicated emotions with her grandmother’s death, Silva’s cousin also was an accountability partner who would ensure she got up off the couch and laced up her sneakers. “If I was doing it by myself, I think I would’ve given up. It also made grieving much easier and faster,” she shared. “We were both focused on losing weight that we didn’t have time to stay depressed. It also made our relationship stronger.”

Actionable takeaway: If you have let the responsibilities of running a business overcome the necessity of eating clean and working up a sweat daily, connect with your network to see if any other female leader is struggling, too. At FemCity, we can help pair you with someone in your community who can be a buddy on the road to better health.

“I committed to a monthly goal-setting session to pursue my goals.”

Three years ago, Tasia Duske had a brilliant idea: what if she started tracking her goals every single month? This way, she would have a set schedule and dedicated hour to truly dig into the numbers, be honest and discover the best ways to push further. When she shared her plan with a colleague at work, Michael, he was intrigued and suggested they become accountability partners. 

Each month, they would separately spend fifteen minutes on each of the ‘life’ categories they wanted to work on: health, career, hobbies, finance and community. Then, on a video call, they would debrief the previous thirty days and announce their goals for the next. “Eventually, we created a cute spreadsheet that would auto-populate with smiley emojis for successful competitions, and a trophy emoji at the end,” she shared. “This process turned out to be life-changing. Throughout the accountability partnership, we started creating shared goals and eventually bought the company that we worked for, Museum Hack. Then, we build another company together, TeamBuilding.com. We’ve, of course, found more ways to collaborate since the early days, but it all started with accountability partners.”

Actionable takeaway: To create the life you want, think of the people in your life who are supportive through every ebb and flow. Maybe it’s your best friend, a career mentor or a sibling. Challenge them to be your accountability partner and schedule a monthly check-in that’s honest — and supremely helpful

“I found a way to overcome my mental health battle.”

In August, technology consultant Elle Hicks reconnected with an old friend at work. Through a few conversations, they realized they were going through their mental health battles and could lean on each other to lift their spirits and improve their outlook. Rather than making oversized aspirations or putting unreasonable expectations on one another, Hicks shared they kept it simple and focused on self-care. This could be taking a walk, taking daily medicine or vitamins, walking outside to breathe in the fresh air, booking an appointment with a therapist, or joining a support group. 

In addition to renewing her mood, this accountability partner has also gone from being a surface-level friend to a trusted confidant. ‘Normal’ life stressors are enough to handle, but when you pack on the brunt of the pandemic, it’s a more significant battle to fight. “This experience taught me the power of opening up and finding strength through virtual connections,” Hicks continues. “Because our tendencies are aligned with ‘obliger’, we weren't as likely to do simple daily self-care tasks on our own, but when we knew we'd be accountable to the other person or they would ask us about them, we saw powerful results.”

Hicks says she was able to realize she strives with a sense of routine, and elements of this pandemic forced her to blur some of her work life-and-personal lines, causing much anxiety and depression. 

Actionable take away: When you find someone who is going through a similar stage, take a note out of Hick’s book and celebrate a daily win. This will keep you motivated to take giant steps in the future. 

“I stayed active in the middle of a pandemic.”

While she owns her own fitness company, Stephanie Mansour had to teach herself how to work out from home like everyone else when states shut down gyms. Adjusting to an at-home set-up was a learning curve — and to maintain her motivation to maintain a fitness routine, she turned to her sister. Even though they aren’t in the same zip code, they came up with an effective system. They both joined a video streaming workout service, and whoever completed a workout first would email the sweat session they selected. They’d then have a phone call every day to debrief and discuss how they liked it, what they would change, and what their next fitness video should be. 

Why did Mansour turn to her sister as an accountability partner? Because she was already a role model for what Mansour hoped to achieve herself. Not only was she working full-time, but she also was takin care of her newborn, so going to the gym was never an option pre-pandemic. “I found someone who was already doing what I wanted to do, and because she enjoyed sharing workouts with me, it was a win-win,” she continues. “We were both happier and more committed to the workouts knowing the other one was doing it, too.”

Actionable takeaway: As Mansour puts it, an accountability coach — whether a friend or hired expert — is truly the key to sticking to goals and maintaining healthy habits. If a friend of yours is a morning fitness fan, ask if you can join them so you can create the life you want, too. 

“I have a weekly Monday morning entrepreneur call.”

For the past four years, Rebecca West has looked forward to Monday mornings. Yep: you read that correctly. She likes the start of the week since it’s when she checks in with her accountability partner, a fellow entrepreneur. And perhaps more importantly: her mom, Terry Rafferty. While West is an interior design business coach, her buddy is an artist, and they are always looking for new ways to feel more productive with their time, manage their to-do list, and find a better work/life balance. They co-created weekly tracking sheets to organize and prioritize various categories of our lives, from work and health to relationships and playtime.

“We were already close, but becoming business accountability partners and having these weekly calls has really elevated our relationship in ways we could never have achieved otherwise,” she continues. “We share our fears and our dreams, celebrate each other's successes, and work through obstacles on a weekly basis. It's wonderful to share this kind of relationship.”

In the past four years, West says she’s achieved more than she ever could have on her own, including publishing a book, starting a podcast, beginning a coaching business, and growing her design team to seven employees. And in a big way, it’s reduced her stress and anxiety tenfold. “I start each week not only with a clear sense of what I need to accomplish but also with a celebration of what we both accomplished the week before,” she shares.

Actionable takeaway: If you don’t have many female entrepreneurs in your life, like West, consider joining a FemCity chapter near you. We can match you with someone who will happily chat with you over coffee every Monday.